I am a wake... kinda.
February 28, 2001
February 27, 2001
Router in place and working great. I have the two main work stations networked... and whoa is it fast. I think I am really going to like this.
I have my alarm set for 5am. Bob is going to be picking me up at 6am. We are going to a Windows 2000 Server training-something-or-other. All I really know is that is cost major bucks to go. I am thinking I will know more about it when I get back. I will be gone for about 3 days.
I just spent so much money that I think I am going to cry. I am know the proud owner of an eight-port DSL router and two Intel NIC cards. It is a very good thing that I have my cool new UK Dido CD to listen to. Wish me luck while I tear my computers apart... yet again.
I am so happy... I just got home... and there was a package for me from England. UK special release of Dido from Claire! I was so excited that I almost cause more damage to the CD by opening it so very quickly then the postal services did. I am still smiling ear-to-ear. Thank you, Claire! It is amazing the package did not suffer much damage on its way home from the mother land. Only one corner of the CD case was cracked... and I broke that corner off in all the excitement... oops. It looks like another few weeks of listening to nothing but Dido. I do not thik I could be any happier at the moment.
I just got this site up and running. Take a look and give me some feedback... if you would be so kind. I was having a bit of trouble matching the color. It looks fine on my moniitor here and at home, but I have had a few complaints.
Ever feel a bit vain? I managed to get this screen capture seconds before my computer crashed. There is only so much me that anything or anyone can handle, huh?
February 26, 2001
Yes, I do make up my own sayings. What else do i have to get me through life? The wisdom of others? I think not... at least not most the time. Eh... anyway...
Looks like it is the season for redesign. Ollie and Halcyon bot redesigned their sites in the last couple of days. Ollie is moving forward. Good design and good DHTML usage. Ollie's site is no longer going to refered to as "the abuse of CSS". On the other hand, Hal is going simple... never thought I would have seen it.
I am up in just enought time to to hop in the shower and hit the road. Badly Drawn Boy is good music, but maybe not the best music to have in my alarm. I just layed there for 20 minutes and listened to it. I was not sure if I was going to get up or go back to bed... not that going back to bed was a real option.
Whoa... Badly Drawn Boy has a fairly cool website. A bit confusing, but cool.
Four days until DSL is here. Twelve days until Isaac is here. Eight years until retirement.
February 25, 2001
I went out with my awesome aunt last night. We saw the movie Chocolat and had dinner. It was so good to get out and not sit here in front of a computer... it was also good to see a movie that did not suck. It has been a long time since I have seen a good movie... this is a good movie.
I think I am going to stay with the theme and go check out Crouching Tiger, Hiden Dragon today. Any movie that has 10 nomination for an Oscar including 'Best Picture' has to be good, right? I am a sucker for a Kung Fu movie anyway.
February 24, 2001
I redesigned Sol's navigation last night with a little bit of borrowed code from Wiz. He uses this code quite a bit on his personal site, SeveredLogic (Sneak a peak at v3 of Wiz's site.). It is very nifty and again it shows the power of DHTML, JavaScript, and CSS. In fact, it has inspired me to go buy yet another five-ton book and learn more about DHTML. Coding is really simple once you learn the syntax of the lanuage(s).
It is just about imposible to be a good webdeveloper/designer without knowing all the tools availble. DHTML can do neat looking stuff, but who cares about neat stuff that does nothing other then look cool. There is some real function that can be added to a site. Example: Wiz and I just coded a 'very rough' for SunsetStrategies.com... the entire site is one page, 21k. The user never has to load a second page... using DHTML the whole site is there, just not 'visible'. The user clicks on something... and they are there... no download time at all. This is the way it should be.
Hopefully today, I will get Sol's site finished up... do a little on Project X.... and clean my messy room.
February 23, 2001
I have decided that life would be better if they sold it in a can. Cans with little tabs, thus to eliminate the need for a can-openner.
Yawn. Time for bed.
Long-day yawn.
At-work yawn.
Off-to-work yawn.
Post-shower yawn.
Yawn.
February 22, 2001
Open up your box of sunshine...
I seem to have misplaced mine. Think I could rent one? Not only am I running a bit short on sunshine tonight, I am out of creativity. Next time I am buying a Phillips 'idea' light bulb. Mine has burned out. I could not come up with a good design to save my life tonight. Stare, pace, eat, take a break, stare, change music, chat, surf, read a book, stare... nothing is/was working. It is now time for the last tactic — sleep.
Hopefully, I will wake full of good idea... and not this mental poop that I have been creating all night.
I agree with this quote from DZ.
February 21, 2001
Fear?
What would I do if I was not afraid? My guess, I would do something stupid. There is a fine line between bravery and stupidity... and a finer line between wisdom and fear. There is many a broken heart I would have had from a million 'cute girls' that I did not approach and a million broken arms that I would have gotten from 'stupid stunts' had fear not came rolling into town. I do not think that there is enough paper on this planet to write a long enough 'thank you' letter to fear, wisdom, and common sense... all a common part of the brain. That part of the brain that thinks twice before you break your heart or your arm.
Am I bitter about... do I regret the millions of little things that fear has left me without? Yes, I regret the experiences that I have missed out on. I am a very foolish person and I make at least a hundred mistakes a day... and my failure to see the difference between good fear and bad fear has caused me and many others pain and/or hard work that was very unneeded. It is depressing to think about it in such a way as this. I would not trade that experience for anything... not that is all that grand.
Fear has saved me pain and fear has brought me pain. 'Life is a delicate balance of unseen things... good, bad, and indifferent'. 'Life happens to you'... 'whether or not you choose it'. 'Choose life' ... 'resist fear'... 'life happens'. 'Fate takes its course'... 'fate has no course that we don't give it'. So many statements that have no real meaning, but that all seem to make sense... all at the same time. Yet... they all sound wrong.
How do you feel today? How will you feel in the next five minutes? Fear, hate, love, sadness, inspiration... what does it matter? That is what i really want to know. Some days I love life and others I hate life. I push on day after day looking for what matters. What matters to others and what matters me... what matters in life.
One would think that after thousands of years of human life on this planet, we would have a simple solution and formula to get to 'what matters'... but I guess it takes longer than thousands, huh? It is difficult being finite as well as very confusing.
What would I really do if I was not afraid? Hopefully, I would look for 'what matters' in all those places that I am so very afraid to look in.
It is finished.
The video shoot is finally over. I could not be more happy about it either. It was a good shoot with a good talent... but work is work. Tomorrow is clean up. Woo. So the fun is not completely over. Eh.
I have so much on my mind, but no words for it all. I really hate it when this happens. I just sit here and look at the monitor with my mind going a million miles an hour... all the while I am doing nothing... nothing but staring. Staring and typing about how I have no words... and eating beef yerky... and thnking about how I need to eat better and be healthier... and listening to Moby... again. Staring and thinking about what time I should go to bed... thinking about what I am going to do tomorrow... and this weekend... and with my life. Am I going to waste it? Am I going to waste this evening? Staring... waste it staring and typing about nothing. Waste this one night, eating beef jerky, being lonely and tired... and waste it staring at this monitor. Am I going to choose to waste this evening or am I going to choose to use it?
J u s t W a s t e O n e M o r e S e c o n d ? N o .
Five and a half hours later, I am alive... and well. It is a Moby morning... and it moves me.
February 20, 2001
Fourteen and a half hours of straight work. Am I tired? Just a bit. The shoot is going very good. I would venture to say that it is that best yet. I have to be at work in eight hours... I am not feeling too bad about that right now. We will see how I feel about it in the morning. Heh.
It has arrived. The new Merc Store from CafePress is now open... at least mostly. I am still working to replace all the Sol Gear. Don't worry if you still want some Sol Gear, I am sure Sol will be opening her store soon... or I can again post her artwork for a limited time.
For those of you who are trying to figure this new piece of artwork out: It is actually very fitting of me and goes a way back into my life as well as now. Currently, I weigh in at 125-130... this would make me a skinny little skeleton. As well as my nick name in the 4th grade was Bones... and this was not from Star Trek. I have just always been a 'little guy'.
Fire should be my middle name. I have been an avid pyro for as long as I or my mother can remember. There are not too many things tha i have not caught on fire at one point or another. I have also had the oppurtunity to work professional fireworks (aka BIG BOOMS). I have not done anything illegal... yet, but everyone knows it is coming (hehe).
Follow your fire. Ong made me an awesome little painting with this phrase across it. I am very much a person who believes in the power of passion. I feel that it is more powerful than any other force. You can be a millionare without a day of school with passion. Passion makes its own way in life... and I just dig that.
I just felt like I had to explain it just a bit. I want people to understand my artwork and not make up wild stories in their own minds. Example: 'My mother thinks I have a large fasination will death and hell.' Not the case as explained above. What is an artist to do?
I am going to be deeply involved with a video shoot for the next few days. I will not be home or on the net much. Please leave a brief email so I can get back to you as soon as possible.
February 19, 2001
Bad Day.
I stayed up a bit too late last night... therefore I got up a little late this morning. Already running behind, I again felt VERY very ill this morning... just about to the point of calling in (I hate being a 'trooper'). I finally get on the road and about half way to work my car just dies. Dead. Nothing. It had done this to me on Saturday night and Sunday morning... two strikes. I coasted into Christine's Flowers at 7.15 am. They did not open until 8 am. However, Christine (the owner) was there early. She let me in and let me use the phone. I called Donnie and woke him up on his one day off (I felt sooo bad). I talked with Christine while I waited for Donnie to come and pick me up to take me to work. Once I got to work, I gave Donnie my keys (all my keys)... and walked to the back of the building. No one was there. It was 7.30 am and no one was there. I had no way to get in. Everyone that is not prt of production had the day off. I had to wander around downtown in the cold and rain for an hour until Jim got to work at 8.30 am. I was still feeling very slow and ill at this point. Wiz finally got to work at about 9 am... Jim, Wiz and I then went to buy prop for the set of a video that we are shooting tomorrow. This took an hour and a half. When we got back, I went straight into a meeting that lasted until 1.30 pm. I spent the rest of the afternoon climbing through the rafters, hanging lights, decorating the set, and painting... all while feeling ill. I finally get off work and go to Radio Shack to buy parts for a cable that Wiz has to build for the shoot tomorrow... in the hopes that the mixer we bought today will be hee for the shoot tomorrow.
I am now at home trying to figure out how I am going to get to work in the morning, trying not to be ill, and be happy. Things are looking up, but what a day it has been.
February 18, 2001
Miss me? I missed the internet. I missed it so bad that I was having dreams about it... heh. Sad, but true... I am addicted. I was running in here about every 5 minutes to check my... 'dude, there is no phone line...' or 'dude, when can I get online?' It was tragic. I really missed my blog, my e-mail, and my cyber buddies.
I am still on dial-up until March 1st... then it is DSL time. I have a feeling that you will be seeing Wiz and I online a whole lot more when te DSL gets here. We have both work stations up running with 256mb of RAM each. Aww happiness. If could only get Wiz to stop whining about the 14 inch monitor on his station. I think he is just suffering a little monitor-envy from my 19 inch. Size does matter... maybe?
All project are starting to come together. Wiz and I are really nailing the production board. I am hopig to have it completely cleared off in about 2 weeks. BTW, Eddie is the man. I just want this noted. His services have made a few of my latest projects much easier.
Max is in town again this weekend. He has been duct taping his poor Bronco back together. Trees and cars do not mix. The Bronco is looking pretty good now... minus headlights... but who needs those anyways? Huh?
My car had to be towed home this morning. My poor car is nearing the end so I think. I just would not stay running last night or this morning. After I get it towed home, it runs like a dream. Not a single problem... LAZY CAR! 'Carry me home.' I am getting rid of that piece of crap as soon as possible.
I am going into work at 7am in the morning. I am oddly looking forward to it. I think it is going to kill my blog in the morning, but it will allow me to get off work early and have a better chance for overtime. Overtime is a beautiful thing. ;] I really like the 'quiet' time at work before everyone gets there. I swear I get more work done in that hour than I do for the rest of the day. The main goal with going in early is really so Wiz and I can get our business going better. And it is going good so far.
I drew a really cool 'tattoo' on my arm today with a Sharpie. I has semi-inspired me to redesign my site agin, but I am not going to. I don't think I really have the time. However, I am going to get it scanned and get my artwork change at CafePress. If you are interest, you can purchase a shirt or whatever. This store will be replacing the 'Sol Store', so you may want to purchase something now if you were thinking about it.
Dale Ernhardt died today. He was the greatest NASCAR driver to live. He has been racing for the last 21 years, and today... he died on the last turn of the last lap in the Daytona 500. His son and another member of his race team placed first and second in the Daytona just seconds after the crash. Tragic.
I have been listening to Hybrid - Wide Angle for most the day. It is techno... but cooler. It is mellow and moving. Very cool... and I would suggest snagging it.
My mind is starting to turn into a puddle of lemmon pudding so I think it is about time to retire to bed.
February 15, 2001
"Congratulations! Your quiz score reveals that you feel strong, confident and in control. Whatever the case, you feel secure with yourself and ready to take on any future challenges. Just remember, there are some things in life that we can never control -- so if you slip from your pedestal of power from time to time, don't be too hard on yourself. "
Interesting, huh? I can sleep well at night knowing I am prepared for life and all its challenges... thanks to this online quiz.
- Moby
No. Never. Nada. Wrong answer. Some quotes just rub me the wrong way. This would be one.
Feeling ill?
And hungry too? What should you eat? I have a few ideas that I have put to the test.Flaming Hot Cheetos (Crunchy)
Sour Skittles
Beef Jerky
SoBe Edge
We will see how I am feeling in the next few minutes/hours. I am feeling fine at the moment... just finished the hot dogs, cheetos, and jerky. SoBe and Skittles are up next. If I do not puke, it will be a mircle. Nothing like pushing your body to its limits, right? This has got to be safer than jumping out of a plane, right?
I've seen better days... and better health.
February 13, 2001
Once again this week, I feel like I am going to hack. Hack. Hack as in puke, vomit, and/or hurl chunks. I AM NOT FEELING WELL.
I do not know what is wrong with me. I have been feeling ill for a week and have not been doing anything different. Maybe I am getting old or maybe I am running a bit low or maybe I am ill. I have no idea.
I am blogging to take my mind off hurling and it is not working. I am going to bed... now.
I promised to do this a long time ago. Here is a shot of my desktop at work. The rez is set to 1600x1200 on a 17 inch monitor. This what it looks like before I really get going. I will post a picture of what it looks like I have all ten thousand programs open... at a later date and/or time.
The first annual Merc Awards. I figure that I have been working in the industry long enough to start holding my own awards. I have been dinking with computers for over a decade... most of which has been in design.
Please start nominating websites (your own or others), art, and design for a Merc Award. I have a whole box of Bodka T-shirts sitting at home that need a new and more loving home, so I even have prizes. The catagories will be formed by what is nominated... this includes site content and other ODD catagories.
Please let me know what you like about the site that you are nominating... don't make me guess. Heh heh.
Tonight I have dinner with a client at 7pm... that is 13 hours from now. That is a long day.
February 12, 2001
Today's advice:
Never let anything you order on line be shipped through anything but FedEx.
Sites that I have in one way or another been involved in (old, new, and yet to come):
biffslamkovich.com
http://mercuryfrog.com/wiz/
adearone.com
http://mercuryfrog.com/digitalpunk
http://www.mercuryfrog.com/eyepea
http://ohpdirect.com/
http://titan.otsdirect.com/manual.htm
http://otsdirect.com/
http://trsdirect.com/
http://todayspraise.com/html/catalog/catalog_frameset.htm
http://mercuryfrog.com/merc/
http://trsdirect.com/deadly/
http://mercuryfrog.com/widgie/
http://trsdirect.com/seals/
http://www.mercuryfrog.com/dz
http://factionstudios.com/
http://mercuryfrog.com/chat
ohpgolf.com
http://endevour.com/home.html
http://tularecounty.com/
trsdirect.net
severedlogic.com
http://www.smithandmederos.com/
http://solbeam.com/
http://allprintingmatters.com/
2hot2000.com
loungepunk.com
actiondeveloper.com
whackedinternet.com
antislacker.com
themiddlechild.org/com/net
trsunderground.com
drink.to/bodka
http://members.nbci.com/mercuryfrog/journal/
http://members.nbci.com/mercuryfrog/
http://members.nbci.com/mercuryfrog/roanoke/index.htm
http://mercuryfrog.com/sol/
http://quickdiploma.com/
If you can think of any that I am missing... or know of any that I have lost out in cyberspace please let me know. I should have made a list like this a long time ago.
I am really hoping to get out of here early today. I have not gone to lunch yet... so I am VERY hungry. We have a production meeting here in the office at 1... Wiz and I may hop on out of here afterwards. If not... we at least are going to go get some food... then work all night. I am still feeling very tired. I hope that I am not getting ill.
I am kinda doing this Brit look thing today (and yesterday). I will see if I can get a picture snapped... I have never gotten so many comments... good ones anyway. I was trying to develop my own style, 'lounge-punk"... with a little indie feel... and now I am a Beatle. Odd, but hey... whatever works. The Brit look may be hanging around for a while.
What is it: "Chicks dig grey"? Or something like that... I have to see 'that' movie again. Go ahead correct my quote and name that movie. And hurry.. Ong knows it and will beat you all. Heh heh.
The drive to work was so beautiful today. It rained last night and it was so bright. I could even see the mountains. Beautiful.
Better late than never. Wiz and I finally had our production meeting last night... this means much neded work will finally start to get done. The graphics and web portion of FactionStudios will finally get going. We have quite a few projects on the board, but after speaking last night none of them are really that difficult now that we are working as a team.
I am overwhelmingly tired this morning. I got a full 7.5 hours of sleep... so I don't know what my problem is.
February 11, 2001
Today has been an experience. Nothing turned out the way I had planned. I got some things done, but nothing that I should have or wanted too. However, I would not have had it any other way. Growth does not happen when you plan it. Play it by ear and wing it through life... with wisdom.
I do wish it was Friday night and not Saturday night. I am just further behind than I already was. Not cool. I feel like I could and feel like I should stay up all night and get some work done, but I need to relax. I always say I am going to, then I don't. I seem to work the hardest when I am 'taking a break'. I just have not found that balance to my life, I guess.
Things that I did do today: I have four computer up and running. That is the most that I have ever had running at one time in this room. None of them run optimally yet, but tat is the next step. I am going to try to get one or two more running sometime this week. I plan on having two work stations, a mail server, a webserver, and other general servers. Maybe a database server (MySQL) in there somewhere. I was a good day for the computers. They really changed a lot of internal parts... and more to change.
I did not get a chance to design anything today. I was REALLY REALLY hoping to. I have a few projects that I am dying to work on. And some that I am dying to finish up... so I can take on a few new projects. Heh heh. I genuinely love doing web work. I hardly concider it work at all. It is truely so much fun — from concept to construction. Agan, I cannot wait to host some of my own sites.
RC race seaon is going to be here in about a month. That leaves me with a month to get my car done. I have the money saved up to get it all. I am just waiting to get the perfect parts. I may buy a second car as well... I have been saving RC money for a really long time. I need to look over my needed parts list a few more tme still. I am just too picky about my car. If I get any more picky, the car may never get done... goofy me. I think as part of my relaxing tomorrow, I am going to go online parts shopping. Yay!
I am going to do something that I have not done in a long time and go to church tomorrow. I think it is going to be a strange feeling, but I will not know until afterwards, will I?
February 10, 2001
UPDATE:
I put the 7 gig in the Celeron 400 and pulled RAM from the old 233 box... looks like we have a working machine. I amy go buy some RAM today... it only has 32 mb... not cool. I would like to have 256, but we will see what I can and cannot afford. My choices that I have to make for this machine now are... Zip drive or another hard drive. There is only enough power for one or the other. I think I am leaning toward the Zip drive. I have the machine defragging right now... then I have to start loading in software for Wiz to use.
If I put the Zip in the 400 machine than I can put the extra 4.3 gig in the new 233 machine. I am still having issues with the AMIBIOS. I need to get those 1.5 gigs back in and test.
I found a working 486 dx2 66mHz in my closet. It is till running Win 3.11. I may buy a processor upgrade for it.. or keep it around to play cards on. Heh heh.
Wiz and I wil be having the first official FactionStudios production meeting.. complete with job board. I never really realized how much work we have to do until I wrote it all down. It is nearly overwhelming.
WercShop again.
Here is a rough overview. I got Ong's old computer running with a 233 mHz instead of a 120 mHz. The machine already had 80 mb of RAM whick is good enough. However, I broke it already. It had dual 1.5 gig drives, So i tried to put in a faster 7 gig. Not supported by the older AMIBIOS. I think today I am going to reinstall one or both 1.5 gig drives and run a few utilities. I may have to stay with the dual 1.5 gig configuration.... which reall is not too bad. The drives are just slow.
I think I am having the same issue on the other server, but I will not know until I can get something to run on it. It is an new system than the old 120, so maybe i will put the 233 and ram in it.... it still has the older AMIBIOS and will not support the larger drives.
Looks like I may be buying a few motherboards in the in the very near future. I also have a perfectly good Celeron 400 here with no motherboard or ram. What to do? Eh.
Back to the WercShop.
February 09, 2001
Computers are not Legos. More bad news to follow.
I just got off the phone with PacBell. I will be getting enhanced DSL... so I will be following the wise advice of RoguePinoy, and I will be hosting my own sites on my own server. I am sitting here looking at eight computers here in my room. Out of all of them... at least 3-4 are going to be web servers. AntiSlacker.com will finally have a home. Yay!
I am going to begin tearing apart m.iii and start putting these servers together. Should not be too rough.
I need to get a lot done tonight.
February 08, 2001
A sharper focus.
More specific goals for all projects: Solbeam.com, I am going to fix the list of issues that Sol has been e-mailing me with and any extras that she sends my way; ActionDeveloper.com, I am going to get a basic image up on a 'coming soon' page; FactionStudios.com, I am going to correct all the spelling errors... oops, and any changes that Ong sends my way *hint*; Project X, I am going to get the concept together and start promoting it. All other projects have no specific goals in mind... but I am sure a few will get worked on.
Time for sleep. I have an early day in at work.
Looks like I made it through another day... I jammed out of work early today. There was not too much to do that would not have taken all night. I did get a whole lot done at work today. I did the job of Jim, Wiz, and myself. I am pround with reason. I still have quite a bit to do tomorrow as well... I may or may not go in early tomorrow. I shall decide that in the morning.
Yalked to Eddie quite a bit on the phone today. It looks like he is going to be hosting a few site for me. I did not realize the power of the server that Eddie has. I think I will be doing more work with him in the near future. Also, after many many many days of waiting... I finally have ftp access to ActionDeveloper.com. I cannot wait to get this project rolling. IEddie has given my his blessing and I am the some designer of the site. I WILL MAKE YOU PROUD, EDDIE! Or my name is not Merc... or Nate... or Juan.. or...
I have to get over to my friend Nona's house at 7. I am going to designing and hosting a site for her son. I think he is an actor. I will know more when I get back.
I got a lot of resonses to my 'Windows Hate' e-mail that I sent out. I am going to have to dig through the responses and post a few. Too funny. I was a asked a few questions as well. One, I will post pictures of my desktops. Two, this was a REAL error that I got.... and the file was finished 2-3 hours later. It was a 4.5 gig file, but a million minutes... whoa.
Projects In The Line Up: Solbeam.com, not sobeam.com; ActionDeveloper.com; AntiSlacker.com; Reddito.com; TRSnet; ProjectX; CoolAcid.net; ADearOne.com (right, Ong?); IsaacPetro.com; play more with DigitalPunk.net; Trinity's Music Blog (I know you want it, Trin); Moose's Blog and redesigned Bio Page; and... others that are further down the list.
Keep Focus.
This is nuts. I think I might die before this file will be finished copying..
Moose just sent me a website-bio for him and some of his closest friends. Moose gets credit for everything working in the first round. May need a little redesign, but hey.. it works.
Access Report for Feb 1 2001 to Feb 6 2001
Daily Totals for mercuryfrog.com:
Date Clients Hits Page Hits Transmitted Kilobytes
Thu Feb 01 2001 58 2184 333 6637.54
Fri Feb 02 2001 81 4143 465 8633.34
Sat Feb 03 2001 33 2495 277 5436.73
Sun Feb 04 2001 62 1980 265 5527.44
Mon Feb 05 2001 90 2890 396 11123.04
Tue Feb 06 2001 38 2513 380 8888.70
---------------------------
Period Totals for mercuryfrog.com:
Individual Clients Clients Hits Page Hits Transmitted Kilobytes
286 362 16205 2116 46246.80
---------------------------
Daily Averages:
Clients Hits Page Hits Transmitted
60 2700 352 7707.80
February 07, 2001
I have added a new member to my family today, Merc III (m.iii). m.iii is an unhappy little eTower 400xi. He is an unhappy little guy because he has no eyeballs... also know as... a poofed video card. Not normally a big deal... get another video card and all is well, right? Well, m.iii is not a lucky lil' fellow. He was born with an onboard video chipset... not cool. I may try transplanting a nice PCI card in, but more than likely m.iii is going to be an organ donor. He has a few good parts to give up... a nice 6.4 gig hard drive, a robust 400 mHz Celeron, floppy drive, and a 40x CD-ROM. The rest of my computers are looking over m.iii with hungry eyes.
By purchasing your very own 'Solbeam.com' products... you could help save the life and parts of beautiful young souls like m.iii. Your donation means the world to m.iii and many others just like him.
To show your support please send in your pictures of you wearing your 'Solbeam.com' gear with pride... knowing that you have a made a difference.
I went to bed way early last night. I got way more sleep than normal, but I felt sooooooooo tired getting or trying to get out of bed this morning. I still feel tired. I think I am catching the cold that Wiz has/had. Ick. I hate being ill.
I started drawing again last night. It was a very cool feeling. I bought a sketchbook on the way to the Getty Center in LA... and started a few drawings while I was there. However last night was good, I was becoming an artist again. I didn't draw tables and chairs or people... I drew art. Between looking at Ollie's and DLove's artwork... I have been quite inspired to start again.
Ong's father and I were talking about how art is killed by the computer. We are both graphic designers and video editors. Neither had really done anything in the art realm since we started playing with computers. It is kinda scary. We talked about the fact in our lives that if you don't use your art talent that it kinda fades away. It took me from the time I left the Getty until last night to even having 'something' to draw. I always (and I mean ALWAYS) have a pen with me, but usually when it hits the paper... I have nothing for it to do.
It felt good to express myself in ink. I think I am going to look into getting another scanner, so I can start my own little 'piece of a week' page. I need something to force me into drawing more. Kinda like this journal forces me to think more.
Non-digital Art.
February 06, 2001
What do I want out of life?
Wiz and I took a swing by the skate park. Within a few moments, we were involved ina very interesting experience. A kid, who was not old enough to drive and claimed to be 32, bummed a smoke off Wiz. He proceeded to hang out and talk to us until he finished smoking. Although most of it was nothing other than insane ramblings... it moved me in several ways.
I have been trying to get a grip lately... and the kid says, 'hey, I know you want it... you got to go this way [points straight], not this way, man [curves one hand around the other]... you know what I am saying?' It was insane ramblings, but I knew exactly what he was saying... the whole time. Every word if torn apart made perfect sense to me. Goals, money, and happiness. He knew about... he said he had millions. Insanity. He said whatever I wanted as long as I said it... it would be.
He made sense to me, but he made no sense to himself. The kid said everything that a person honestly needed to do to get to there goal. However, he commited his own sin. Never listening to what he knew to be... now he is just a insane, poor kid. Sad. It was very sad.
Life is not as complicated as we all make it daily. It is so simple minute to minute. But can we follow any of these simple rules? No. We screw it up all day, all the time. Why? Trying to shortcut everything.
I have many times put tons of effort into a million things that I didn't need to be doing. All to put off doing 5 minutes of real work. How worthless am I? Sure, I am not living on the street and bumming cigarettes... but if how good my life is, is going to be based on how I compare to that... I am doing fantastic and should stop now. My goal has been reached. No... no.
My life is nowhere what I want it to be. I am willing to try anything to move forward by leaps and bounds, but am I willing to try ANYTHING? Am I willing to dive out of my comfort zone? Am I ready to try those 5 minutes of hard work? Am I willing to roll the dice, take a chance... move forward? I have been saying that I am for so long... I am still saying that I am willing.
Actions speak louder than words, right? Words lie. Actions are real. Stop talking about it and do it. Even half an effort is better than none. I need to stop looking at the goal in every project and be unwilling to do anything less than the whole goal.
Live harder.
I love DSL.
I am render video at the moment. Working on a golf show that needs to be done... like yesterday, but more like tomorrow. I also love Final Cut Pro. It is one of the greatest and most powerful pieces of software that I have ever touched. Very very cool. Whatever you can dream up it can produce... within reason of course.
Reason... I like that word. Hmm... looks like I might be buying a new domain name... if I can think something cool with 'reason' in it. Ideas? E-mail me.
Rendering. Forever.
Morning is here yet again. I did not sleep very well. I got an e-mail from Assembler last night. Nothing gets me thinking about the magic of DHTML like Assembler. I am really hopping that he going to start VitaFlo back up and developing. There is nothing that cannot be done with code. I wish it was possible to learn it all. A person can only buy and read so many books... and I push that limit.
Flash does some really cool thing, but I am finding that is is being abused more than anything. Ther is really no point to half the flash navigation... and all the stupid 'cool' grahics that take about nine years to download. The internet is about information and function. Sometimes this includes art, but give me a break. Navigation does not equal art. It is how you are supposed to be getting around the site. If it take 20 minutes to figure it out, why wait? It is a big internet.
My new goal is to combine flash and DHTML in a fashion that is non-abusive, does not take 12 years to download, and is simple to understand.
Refocus.
February 05, 2001
I have been listening to Dido (of course) and Cake all morning... umm... all day. Good, good music. I love music. I would have to say I love music even more than IP and Trinity combined... yup. This could be considered a challenge.
Jimbo bought pizza for the whole office. What a nice guy, huh? I have never seen pizza disappear so very fast. There ain't nothing left. In fact, I think someone ate the box... you all know it was Wiz, but I ain't saying a thing. Heh heh.
DZ has been dubbed a Blogaholic. Blogger was down for about 3 seconds and he had an attack... of course it was during those three seconds. I wonder if there is a support group.
Eddie has dubbed me the IE Nazi. I seem to have a really bad habit of HATING NETSCAPE. Oddly, I think it is a really good habit. I am considering starting a club inspired by Cake. "IE Goes To Heaven; NS Go To Hell." This may be my best idea yet. I would rather go a week without the web than touch the worthless Netscape. Have a different opinion? Bring it on... you will still be wrong.
Currently, I am uploading and backing up files for the 10 million websites that I manage. The estimated time is 55 minutes. Whoa, huh? Not really... computers were never meant to be used by a commie like me. I usually have about 6-8 programs open... plus listening to music... uploading... and burning a CD. The CPU is screaming at me. DIE DIE DIE, I say.
Commie, Nazi, or Fascist? Take your pick.
Just in case you weren't feeling too old today, this will certainly change things. Each year the staff at Beloit College in Wisconsin put together a list to try to give the faculty a sense of the mindset of that year's incoming freshmen. Here is this year's list:
The people who are starting college this fall across the nation were born in 1982.
They have no meaningful recollection of the Reagan Era and probably did not know he had ever been shot.
They were prepubescent when the Persian Gulf War was waged.
Black Monday 1987 is as significant to them as the Great Depression.
They were 11 when the Soviet Union broke apart and do not remember the Cold War.
They have never feared a nuclear war.
They are too young to remember the space shuttle blowing up.
Tianamen Square means nothing to them.
Their lifetime has always included AIDS.
Bottle caps have always been screw off and plastic.
Atari predates them, as do vinyl albums.
The expression "you sound like a broken record" means nothing to them.
They have never owned a record player.
They have likely never played Pac Man and have never heard of Pong.
They may have never heard of an 8 track. The Compact Disc was introduced when they were 1 year old.
As far as they know, stamps have always cost about 33 cents.
They have always had an answering machine.
Most have never seen a TV set with only 13 channels, nor have they seen a black-and-white TV.
They have always had cable.
There has always been VCRs, but they have no idea what BETA is.
They cannot fathom not having a remote control.
They were born the year that Walkmen were introduced by Sony.
Roller-skating has always meant inline for them.
Jay Leno has always been on the Tonight Show.
They have no idea when or why Jordache jeans were cool.
Popcorn has always been cooked in the microwave.
They have never seen Larry Bird play.
They never took a swim and thought about Jaws.
The Vietnam War is as ancient history to them as WWI, WWII and the Civil War.
They have no idea that Americans were ever held hostage in Iran.
They can't imagine what hard contact lenses are.
They don't know who Mork was or where he was from.
They never heard: " Where's the beef?", "I'd walked a mile for a Camel", or "de plane, de plane".
They do not care who shot J.R. and have no idea who J.R. is.
The Titanic was found? They thought we always knew where it was.
Kansas, Chicago, Boston, America, and Alabama are places, not groups.
McDonalds never came in Styrofoam containers.
There has always been MTV.
They don't have a clue how to use a typewriter.
Do you feel old yet?
February 04, 2001
sMax is in town today. It has been a long while... I miss having sMax around. Decent and intelligent friends are hard to find.
We (sMax, Wiz, and I) came up with an awesome new bisiness idea. sMax was the main brain behind the idea. I must say that I would have never thought of the idea without him... pure genius. sMax is going to be doing some real intense homework on how to get things going. Once we see how possible our idea is... it is all out. I really hope things pan out.
I am supposed to be working on another new site, ActionDevelopers.com. However without ftp access... it is really difficult to do anything at all. So this project has a LARGE hold on it.
TRSnet is on hold until we get a server setup. There are a few issues with the business deal on this one that need to be worked out as well. This project may get capped.
MercurFrog.com is done. It will be staying exactly how it is for at least the next 6 months. I have worked out all the bugs. I am happy with it at this point. Err... okay, I have to add archives to it, but that is it.. I swear.
SeveredLogic.com is up and working. Wiz put in some serious overtime and got it done early. He has a really kick-butt logo... I wonder who designed it. Heh heh.
Solbeam.com. Now that I have my site out of the way, sb.com is going to get all that it has been needing. All major thing are out of the way; just have to clean up and add a few sections. I just have to try my hardest to not complicate things. In creating my site, I have learned a few new tricks... but I have to hold back. Cutting-edge coding does not work well on every computer in the WORLD. Keep it tame.
Ong's section is going to have a bit of remodeling in the near future. It is not very Mac freindly... and that has to change.
IsaacPetro.com has joined the FactionStudios collection. This calls for a relocation and redesign on IP's section. Should be fun.
FarmerJoe, JennaBlue and Manda are going to be joining the mf.com-family sometime in the next few weeks. Possibly, Moose and Jax as well. If I can get a hold of Ang, I am going to try to bring back Opposite Socks as well.
DZ's section is going to be expanding and go through a SLIGHT redesign. The section that will be expanding is going to a an absolute kick to design. I am lookign forward to it very much. With SeveredLogic up and running... maybe Wiz will be able to help on this project.
PROJECT X: Experiment In Swanky. The team is coming together. I am going to try to get ClarkKent from CC to jump on board with this project. I think it is right up his alley.
QuickDilpoma.com needs a new plan. I think it needs a larger budget for advertising. It has fallen victim to the fall of e-commerce. Kinda sad really. I think I can still pull some numbers out of this site. Maybe has Wiz take it over or Whacked Internet.
AntiSlacker.com: The site that will never get finished. Funny, but not. I have a few ideas to do with it. Nothing seems to stick. A site about personal achievement that seems to sit there like a bump on a log. It is enough to make me ill at times... other times I just have to laugh.
I also have a few new clients in the works. A few websites... and video or two... and a set to design. All these possible projects look like a whole lot of fun. I am really looking forward to getting a lot more work done.
Among all the work I have set out here, I plan on learning more JavaScript and DHTML. E-commerce site are not where the money is at the moment... plus I have the need for the money just not the love for it. I reeally have the love for the technology... I just like to see and create 'neato stuff'. It is really to the point where NOTHING at all is impossible on the web. Scary beautiful is all I can say. I just want to create and create with no end... feels like I am an artist again. Lately, I am code artist, but an artist none the less... and I dig that.
I am in a real dilema with what to do with my life. I just cannot seem to make up my mind. I really do need to continue on with school... but will I? I really feel like I am going to lose a lot by going back to school. On the other hand, I know I am going to miss out o a lot by not going back to school. I have my AA, but it is worthless. I don't even have an ounce of pride in it. I feel as though all the school that I have gone through is in total vain. Nothing I have done in school has helped me do what I am doing now. Is teh next level of eduction going to be the same? I need to learn. I am starving to learn. I don't feel like I can find enough places to learn. I need classes in web development, but they are not out there. It is a science that is too new. I need a BS, in web development. If I could get that, I would go back to school in second. Drop everything and go. But to get my BA/BS, I have to stop developing websites, I have to stop working, I have to give up so VERY much in order to go ahead in a 'related' major. How weak is that? How bleak does that look? No one wants me without a degree, but by the time I get the darn thing, i am going to so out-of-the-loop on what they should hire me to do now.
I regret that I am 22 with nothing. I know that is not the total truth; however, it is how I feel. I have bills. I have an AA. I have nothing — nothing that I want. I am reaching, but I just cannot seem to reach far enough from where I am. I would love to jump out there and chance falling on my face. I would love to chance failure, but I cannot. Failure is not an option. I have nothing to fall back on. If I cannot pay my bills, thee is not a soul on this planet to help me out. That is scary. I have no home to go home to. Where I am is the safest thing... and when I leave there is no coming back. I have to prepared for that. I am in heart, but not in mind. Logic and desire are having a serious struggle.
The short term future is a fun ride and a chance to pay off my bills, but beyond that I am horrified.
Push on.
~Norman Cousins~
I have made few changes to mf.com this morning. It may be a little to intense for most computers. If you are having any problems, please let me know. I have made it so that the 'enter' link from the index page opens up two windows instead of one. It will now open up the main menu as well as the blog window. It is quite taxing on computers to open these 'special' windows in the first place... so I may have pushed it a bit too far. I will test it for a few days.
Wiz is really rolling on his 'new Logic'. Version 2.7 of SeveredLogic is due to be out by Monday. There is some 'fine work' that needs to be learned from this new site. Wiz used a lot of simple tricks to pull off some seriously complicated effects. I have to give Wiz some credit.
February 03, 2001
The bummer thing about getting up early 5 days a week is that you get up early on Saturday too. I would really like to be asleep right now. I start rolling around at about 7.30... then kinda fall asleep... wake up at 8-8.30... and think it is about noon, so I get out of bed. Of course this probably is not a bad thing. I am just whiny. While I may hit the sack at about 10.30 or 11 each night, I have more daylight hours than most my friends combined.
I always feel like I am not being productive enough. I could be more productive, but I am more productive than most. However, I really like being compared to my own standards of productivity. I am trying to get somewhere. I am not sure where... but I know what I do each day, although they may be small, are steps to getting 'there' — that place where I can be happy with myself.
I want to look around and be satisfied with where I am. I may be 90 when this happens, but I want it. I am tired of these walls that hold me back. I know this is just how life is, but it appears to me that I scale one wall to peek over and see another one... a taller one. This is the point that I break the mold. I stand at the base of the next wall. Stare at it. Give it the finger and start climbing.
I want to look back at life, spit on it... and know that it did not control my destiny. I do not want to let my life happen to me. I want to happen to life. It is beyond frustrating when life does happen. It has been happening to my all along my life... good and bad things happen. I can deal with this... I have been dealing with this... I will continue to deal with this.
And saying all this, I do not consider myself to be a highly motivated person. I have a hard time getting out bed every morning (like I said, I would love to be in bed right now). There is a 'thing' deep within my core that takes the wheel when i am too tired. It is the strongest part of me. I would have been lost a long time ago with out it.
I am not sure if it is a sense of duty... or a burning hate of opression. Often, I can feel my skin grow warm with utter hate and defiance of life. I live not in life, but against it. I think it is a war that I have to win. Life is the force pressing against me, not consuming me.
This could be why I feel like a total stranger... and have for most my life. Alienation is something that has been a part of my life for as long as I can remember. I have never been in a place of comfort. I am an introvert — an odd one, but one none the less. I am a person that you meet in layers... not 5 or 6... but millions. I am simple, but complicated. Some days, I cannot figure myself out.... hmmm.
Today: Conquer the world. Heh.
February 02, 2001
A while back, I asked Ollie about the bright colors on his site. I thought that they were a tad bright to have the work 'punk' in the domain name. Well, Ollie went from punk to artist somewhere between buying the domain name and now.
Since, my mind has been working overtime thinking about how to combine the 'artist' and the 'punk'. These are two styles that just clash in the design world... you toss in the word 'digital' and you have created a concept that is yet to be defined. Being a design-freak, I am always looking for a challenge... and I still have not found a solution to this design combination.
Tonight, I took my first real stab at it. I am not completely satisfied. I used a one-pixel sliver of a piece of Ollie's artwork for the background. This produced... in my opinion... a wicked background. LIking the background so much, I wanted to let as much of it show through as possible... so I tried a new trick (inspired from Iomega). You cannot adjust the opacity in HTML, which is crap. Every other thing on the planet has it. Anyway... so you have to trick HTML into doing it. It is simple, and you cannot figure it out in about 3 minutes, e-mail me. I used this 'trick' in the background of the text field as well as the primary image. This allows the background image to show through no matter what size the user has the window scaled to.
Whoa, that turned into blab, didn't it. Well, here is more.
I am still trying to add a bit more 'punk' to the mix. I think I have captured the artist and the digital. I am not sure exactly what to try next. I am think a bit more punk could be added with images for navigation. I am thinkng a kind of black spray-painted stencil look. You have any ideas or comments, e-mail 'em to me. I am still searching here.
Disclaimers: All artwork and etc belongs to Ollie. Nothing is wrong with Ollie's site, nor am I redesigning it for him. I am just looking for a good design challenge. Do not follow my example and redesign peoples sites without their... permission. Doh... next time.
Trouble. Looks like I will not get into any today. I am home and I am coding Looks like this is where I am going to spend my Friday night. I am such a party animal, ain't I? I am a shame of a college-aged person. I hate beer and parties. And no, I don't love homework. I am a geek, but not that kind.
Hmm.... this is cool. Heh... feels good to be.. umm famous?
Done at work for the day. What am i going to go do now? I think I need to have a little fun before I start programming again. But what to do? There is not a single thing to do around here... not a one. Looks like I will just be programming. I hate cows; I like beef; I hate cows; I like milk; I hate cows; I don't like cowtowns. Although... cowtipping is fun.
Hopefully, I will not get into any trouble.... looking for some fun. Heh heh.
'Links' and 'Friends' sections have been fixed. I think it works a lot better now. Still need improvements, but for now.. it is all okay.
What happens when two designer/programmers spend too much time around each other? You get clones. While Wiz and I are maintaining our own style, we are abusing the same technology. Maybe in the future... when we are money hungry enemies... this will be a bad thing. However, now... this is very good. We are figuring out some awesome methods for webdevelopment and design.
With some minor changes. I am sure that our new 'toolbox' idea for web navigation is going to be the new wave/trend. Treating website like the applications that most of us use all day has to be a good thing.... time will tell. There are a few changes that I am going to make already. I have poor abused this new 'chromeless' window effect. I am going to change the friends and links buttons to load in the same window as the toolsbox. It is just creating too many pointless windows.... on top of slowing down navigation through the site.
Enough about 'geek crap', javascript is... just kidding.. umm... I slept fairly well last night. My shoulders hurt like hell though. Too much mouse usage for sure. One would think that computer usage would be less tazing on the body... or maybe I am that out of shape — either could be the case. (By the way, get a 19 inch monitor, save your eyes.)
Today, I continue on the highly involved job of rebuilding the TRS Direct site from the ground up. It is still going to look the same; it will just be coded and organized a little smoother. We are going to be moving it to a new server, so why not be tidy in the move. I just hope that we do not move it again anytime soon. Eck.
TRSnet is still in the works. With IP and CoolAcid on the team, it should roll together quite well. Looks like we are going to go ahead and use PHP and SQL to pull the database together. This will be a learning experience for me. I fugured out a bit of Cold Fusion yesterday, so I hope PHP is easy learning as well. Look like I am going to be buying yet another 30 pound book. Heh.
February 01, 2001
Well, it is alive. I am sure that I am going to have to work out about a million bugs, but... TADA! It is up! I am really tired.. and no wonder. I have been coding for 5 hours straight. I am dying to hear your opinions, so let them roll in.
Two hours later and what is the story? Well, I am not feeling well... and Dido sounds even more beautiful when you feel like you are going to hack. I have not puked during the last two hours, so I am eating. If it stays down and all is good, I am going to go to work.
I am not a trooper; I am a money whore. Damn, I am a trooper. I will throw my whole being into the smallest cause (Spelling? That just looks wrong to me.). Is this a good thing or a bad one? Anyway...
Thanks to Dido and some crackers... looks like I am on the fast track to better health.
Did I feel ill when I woke up this morning? No.
Did I puke on the way to work? Yes.
Did I come back home? Yes.
Do I think I am going to puke again? Yes.
Do I feel VERY ill? Yes.
Crap. I hate the internet at times.
Whoa... IP posted a blog... take about a rare event. Now if Wiz and Biff could just jump on that same band wagon. I am beginning to think that Biff has died. I would think Wiz was dead too, but I see him about every other day. Ong wins some award for her 'rabbit' posting. It is brief.... to the point... and about chickens and rabbits. Does it get better than that? Along this same line... if you are going to tune into a blog... you ought to be reading Ev.'s, since he is the force that powers Blogger.
Music of the morning: Quayle. Dido will be later. Heh.