What do I want out of life?
Wiz and I took a swing by the skate park. Within a few moments, we were involved ina very interesting experience. A kid, who was not old enough to drive and claimed to be 32, bummed a smoke off Wiz. He proceeded to hang out and talk to us until he finished smoking. Although most of it was nothing other than insane ramblings... it moved me in several ways.
I have been trying to get a grip lately... and the kid says, 'hey, I know you want it... you got to go this way [points straight], not this way, man [curves one hand around the other]... you know what I am saying?' It was insane ramblings, but I knew exactly what he was saying... the whole time. Every word if torn apart made perfect sense to me. Goals, money, and happiness. He knew about... he said he had millions. Insanity. He said whatever I wanted as long as I said it... it would be.
He made sense to me, but he made no sense to himself. The kid said everything that a person honestly needed to do to get to there goal. However, he commited his own sin. Never listening to what he knew to be... now he is just a insane, poor kid. Sad. It was very sad.
Life is not as complicated as we all make it daily. It is so simple minute to minute. But can we follow any of these simple rules? No. We screw it up all day, all the time. Why? Trying to shortcut everything.
I have many times put tons of effort into a million things that I didn't need to be doing. All to put off doing 5 minutes of real work. How worthless am I? Sure, I am not living on the street and bumming cigarettes... but if how good my life is, is going to be based on how I compare to that... I am doing fantastic and should stop now. My goal has been reached. No... no.
My life is nowhere what I want it to be. I am willing to try anything to move forward by leaps and bounds, but am I willing to try ANYTHING? Am I willing to dive out of my comfort zone? Am I ready to try those 5 minutes of hard work? Am I willing to roll the dice, take a chance... move forward? I have been saying that I am for so long... I am still saying that I am willing.
Actions speak louder than words, right? Words lie. Actions are real. Stop talking about it and do it. Even half an effort is better than none. I need to stop looking at the goal in every project and be unwilling to do anything less than the whole goal.
Live harder.