Fear?
What would I do if I was not afraid? My guess, I would do something stupid. There is a fine line between bravery and stupidity... and a finer line between wisdom and fear. There is many a broken heart I would have had from a million 'cute girls' that I did not approach and a million broken arms that I would have gotten from 'stupid stunts' had fear not came rolling into town. I do not think that there is enough paper on this planet to write a long enough 'thank you' letter to fear, wisdom, and common sense... all a common part of the brain. That part of the brain that thinks twice before you break your heart or your arm.
Am I bitter about... do I regret the millions of little things that fear has left me without? Yes, I regret the experiences that I have missed out on. I am a very foolish person and I make at least a hundred mistakes a day... and my failure to see the difference between good fear and bad fear has caused me and many others pain and/or hard work that was very unneeded. It is depressing to think about it in such a way as this. I would not trade that experience for anything... not that is all that grand.
Fear has saved me pain and fear has brought me pain. 'Life is a delicate balance of unseen things... good, bad, and indifferent'. 'Life happens to you'... 'whether or not you choose it'. 'Choose life' ... 'resist fear'... 'life happens'. 'Fate takes its course'... 'fate has no course that we don't give it'. So many statements that have no real meaning, but that all seem to make sense... all at the same time. Yet... they all sound wrong.
How do you feel today? How will you feel in the next five minutes? Fear, hate, love, sadness, inspiration... what does it matter? That is what i really want to know. Some days I love life and others I hate life. I push on day after day looking for what matters. What matters to others and what matters me... what matters in life.
One would think that after thousands of years of human life on this planet, we would have a simple solution and formula to get to 'what matters'... but I guess it takes longer than thousands, huh? It is difficult being finite as well as very confusing.
What would I really do if I was not afraid? Hopefully, I would look for 'what matters' in all those places that I am so very afraid to look in.